Monday, October 15, 2012

Awkward Waitress

On a day to day basis I would consider myself a mildly awkward person. I can be a klutz and my conversation skills are not the best, but I manage. Put me in my waitress uniform and send me out to converse with a bunch of strangers and my awkward level increases ten fold. Its not bad every shift. Sometimes I can pull it together and small talk while getting an order, delivering food, adding the bill, and sending costumers on their way. But more often then not I spend the evening blushing.

I've noticed a few reoccurring situations in which I create a whole lot of awkward.

 1. My voice does this thing when I'm nervous where it will gradually get higher in pitch as I speak. Sometimes this happens when I arrive at a table to introduce myself. My voice will start off in a normal tone, but by the time I get to "Can I get you something to drink?" my voice is at such a high pitch you would think I was trying to talk to a dolphin. My smile grows wider with pitch to. As if I'm acknowledging how stupid I sound and am trying to smile my way through it. So I end up with an idiotic mega watt grin to match my mega high pitch voice.

2. I create these things in my mind I call word jumbles. A word jumble is when your brain takes one part of a phrase and another part from a different phrase, jumbles the two parts together, and creates a whole new phrase. Most of the time the new phrase doesn't make any sense at all. Here is an example:

Costumer has paid bill and is leaving. 
Costumer: Thank you!
PHRASE ONE: Your welcome!                            PHRASE TWO: It's no problem!
My Reply: It's your problem!

 I usually have some ridiculous smile on my face that wavers a bit after the mind jumble comes out. My smile turns to pained confusion as I turn and march away hoping that the customer just assumes I said some waitress banter that he is already conditioned to hear.

3. One more awkward situation I often find myself in occurs when I'm delivering food. I can't take full blame for this one though... So many times I'll come over to a table, arms full of dishes, doing this weird balancing plates act, to find a table covered with people's belongings (cell phones, books, purses, planners, computers, ect), and they just look at me like I'm supposed to somehow move their stuff with my waitress super powers. I'll usually stand there for a few moments waiting for them to clear the table. If they don't I try to find a bit of space to place the dishes, but often need to push someone's belongings out of the way. Sometimes this results with food on people's stuff and they aren't happy.

I'm working at being more natural as a waitress, but it is an uphill battle that's for sure!

Happy Monday and thanks for reading!

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